Waiting for the Magic Hour
An unnecessary, one-sided discussion on movie culture
By Jason Sherrange
Well, I’m doing it again. I’m deciding whether or not to go see “The Internship” with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson. I’ve seen the previews. It does not look that great. I’ve read the reviews. Not very kind. And yet here I am, looking at the movie times for tomorrow night’s showings. What’s wrong with me? Why do I do this to myself? I’ll tell you why. I want Trent back in my life.
Is that fair of me to compare an actor’s greatest creation to all of his other work? Probably not. The problem is that I keep waiting for that same spark I saw back in 98. Just take a look at this list of movies he’s had top billing in from the last 10 years:
1. The Watch 6. The Break-Up 11. Old School
2. The Dilemma 7. Wedding Crashers 12. Domestic Disturbance
3. Couples Retreat 8. Be Cool 13. The Cell
4. Four Christmases 9. Dodgeball 14. Psycho
5. Fred Claus 10. Starsky & Hutch 15. Made
I should have stopped at “Made”. Wow, was that bad. But I kept watching, hoping against hope that my beloved “T” would return in all of his Trent-filled glory. And then he kind of did in “Old School”. Unfortunately after that, it was all downhill. (Sorry Wedding Crashers fans. The second half of the movie was dull) Still, I and America kept giving the movie studios our money to keep Vince Vaughn on the big screen. “Wedding Crashers “was a huge hit, as well as “Dodgeball”, “The Break-Up” and “Four Christmases”. It’s only been in the past five years that America has seemed to be catching on. So why can’t I? I should have walked out on “The Watch”. That movie was just lazy. But here I go again, looking at IMDB, wondering what Vince will be up to next.
What is it about some actors that keep making you come back; hoping that it will be different this time.” I’ll make it right baby,” Vince is saying to me at the end of each movie,” Just give me another chance. I know I messed up. It will be like it was before. It won’t happen again, I promise. I’m only human, you know. “ And damn it all, I fall for it all over again like a love struck college girl.
This is not just my problem. For some reason, Adam Sandler still has movies coming out. So do Ben Stiller, Luke and Owen Wilson, Nicholas Cage, John Travolta (who I secretly blame for Vince’s bad choices. F’ you Scientology!), and many others who keep churning out horrible stuff, only to have it make enough money for them to keep being employed.
Here is my plea to Mr. Vaughn. It’s simple. Take a break. Read some scripts. Stop hanging out with Stiller and the Wilson brothers. Let’s get hopped up and make some good decisions. Please, I can’t do another “The Watch”….I just can’t.
So who is your Vince Vaughn? Is there an actor that you go into the theatre blindly with, no matter what? Leave a comment or email this blog at email@example.com. You’ll have to excuse me now. I need to go to fandango to purchase my “Internship” tickets. I am hopeless.