Episode 1: The Inheritance
Director: William Fruet
Writer: Bill Taub
Significant Guest Star: Sarah Polley
Cursed Object: Killer Doll named “Vita”
Episode Grade: B+
We start off with Uncle Lewis Vendredi and his antiques store. Uncle Lewis sold his soul to the Devil for immortality, wealth and some magic powers, including the ability to heal himself. Part of the deal is that he has to sell cursed antiques to the unsuspecting public. I’m not sure why you couldn’t just go straight to Satan and buy this junk wholesale, but here we are. Uncle Lewis apparently grows tired of the pact and breaks it, being sucked down into Hell. Cue the introduction of his niece and nephew, Micki Foster (played by Canadian musician, actress and artist, Robey) and Ryan Dallion (portrayed by John D. LeMay). Uncle Lewis leaves the store to Micki and Ryan. As they try and decide what to with the place, former associate of Uncle Lewis, Jack Marshak shows up and rallies Micki and Ryan together and the three of them set forth in an attempt to reclaim all the cursed items. Jack renames the store ‘Curious Goods’, from ‘Vendredi’s Antiques’. And we’re off!
Our first cursed good is a doll. Little Sarah Polley’s (Mary) mother has passed and she’s got a brand new, mean step mom. Pops purchases the doll to help Mary deal with her grief, but naturally the doll has other ideas. The doll encourages young Sarah Polley to kill Step Mom, first by using telekinesis to place a roller skate behind her and scare her into falling down the stairs, seriously injuring her. When the first attempt proves unsuccessful, the doll smothers her I guess while Sarah visits her at the hospital. Sarah places the doll on the immobilized step mom and something happens.
Next up, grandma is watching Sarah as Dad makes funeral preparations. Desperate to be left alone with a bag of cookies, the doll whips records, strangles, and drops a bookshelf on nana as Sarah breaks for the nearby playground.
The final confrontation takes place on a merry-go-round that spins faster and faster until Ryan shows up to tear the doll out of Mary’s arms, which sends her flying (don't worry she's fine outside of a slight possession hangover. The key when being hurled from a runaway merry-go-round is to go limp.). The girls is saved and Pops is on the prowl for a new step-mom.
We wrap up with the doll being placed in the safe back at the store and the hunt begins…
- Ryan is wearing shorts throughout and it bothers me.
- Smart to go with the cursed doll right out of the gate? You’d think you’d want to pocket that horror gold.
- Micki’s hair is full on 80’s teased and big.
- Noticing some sexual tension between the cousins. We’ll have to keep an eye on that. Gross.
- Chris Scalzo